This song meets a lot to me because at my wedding, I found out who my real friends and family are! It was the rubber meeting the road to washington and my real friends/family showed up. Everybody else doesn't matter. My love for those that showed up increased so much. Its an honor to know that some people care so much about you that they would drop money, gas and time to travel hundreds of miles to be at your wedding. For these few there were no excuses, no stories, nothing but true love. I thank God so much for my REAL family... Jaime, Becky, Nick, Leti, Pastor John, Alejandro, Paloma, Guera, Luis, Art, Mom, dad, Jessica, Iris and Anthony... THEY are my real family!
Tracy Lawrence Feat. Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney - Find Out Who Your Friends Are
Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare
This is where the rubber meets the road
This is where the cream is gonna rise
This is what you really didn't know
This is where the truth don't lie
[Chorus]
You find out who your friends are
Somebody's gonna drop everything
Run out and crank up their car
Hit the gas, get there fast
Never stop to think 'what's in it for me?' or 'it's way too far'
They just show on up with their big old heart
You find out who your friends are
Everybody wants to slap your back
wants to shake your hand
when you're up on top of that mountain
But let one of those rocks give way then you slide back down look up
and see who's around then
This ain't where the road comes to an end
This ain't where the bandwagon stops
This is just one of those times when
A lot of folks jump off
[Chorus]
When the water's high
When the weather's not so fair
When the well runs dry
Who's gonna be there?
[Chorus]
You find out who your friends are
(yeah, yeah)
You find out who your friends are
Run your car off the side of the road
Get stuck in a ditch way out in the middle of nowhere
(Well man, I've been there)
Or get yourself in a bind lose the shirt off your back
Need a floor, need a couch, need a bus fare
(Man, I've been there)
Man, I've been there
Oooh yeah.
About Me
- J
- I love writing. If you want to know anything else just ask me or else read up! I have two blogs ("A Pen Itching To Bleed Onto Paper" and "The Rebirth of J"). One of my blogs (A Pen...) is updated more frequently than the other. "The Rebirth” is more of a story I am writing with my life whereas "A Pen" would be my random thoughts past, present, and future in this unfolding journey I call life. If this is your first time reading my blog, please visit Post #2 for the month of April 2008 in my "A Pen" blog archives... Thanks!
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Friday, June 15, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
When I Was a Child...
I haven't written an honest post on this blog in months! My apologies to
anybody who was still following my blog!
What Have I been up to the past few months? A lot! for the longest time I wanted to write but I had so much going on that I just didn't know where to start. And to be honest, i still don't so I will just jump in the thick of it.
I'm getting married in less than two weeks! Last night was my last weekend at my parents house as a single man. I have the rent paid for at the place that me and my wife will call our home for the next couple of years. I am two weeks away from Cabo with My love! It all seems unreal to me! When I started this blog i felt like such a little emo kid, like a ittle boy. And as I write this entry I don't feel that way anymore. Any confusion I had about love, friendship, family and life has for the most part been cleared up.
Its funny but now that I am engaged i feel like my life makes sense. I don't mean this in the "This person makes me complete" mentality, but more like this is what I am meant to do. Living for my wife gives my life more purpose. Responsibility is a good thing. In the past I simply lived for myself and that meant I could live frivolously. Now I have to live for my wife and myself and although it’s a bit nerve racking, it will make me live a more responsible life. It’s like Mark Driscoll says, “men are like trucks, they will drive straighter if they are carrying a heavy load.”
So what have I been up to the past few months, I have been growing up. I pray and trust God. I complain less and work harder. I do ministry to the best of my ability. I live to put a smile on my fiancées face. And when I get an extra minute, I fish! Lol And I do it all to the Glory of God. If I could do these things for the rest of my life, then I will be happy.
I would like to take a moment to thank all of you who have been reading along for the past few years. You have helped me grow up through reading, commenting, encouraging and challenging me. You all mean the world to me. I know I am speaking with finality but this is only a new beginning!
I finish this blog with a quote from the apostle paul: “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”
What Have I been up to the past few months? A lot! for the longest time I wanted to write but I had so much going on that I just didn't know where to start. And to be honest, i still don't so I will just jump in the thick of it.
I'm getting married in less than two weeks! Last night was my last weekend at my parents house as a single man. I have the rent paid for at the place that me and my wife will call our home for the next couple of years. I am two weeks away from Cabo with My love! It all seems unreal to me! When I started this blog i felt like such a little emo kid, like a ittle boy. And as I write this entry I don't feel that way anymore. Any confusion I had about love, friendship, family and life has for the most part been cleared up.
Its funny but now that I am engaged i feel like my life makes sense. I don't mean this in the "This person makes me complete" mentality, but more like this is what I am meant to do. Living for my wife gives my life more purpose. Responsibility is a good thing. In the past I simply lived for myself and that meant I could live frivolously. Now I have to live for my wife and myself and although it’s a bit nerve racking, it will make me live a more responsible life. It’s like Mark Driscoll says, “men are like trucks, they will drive straighter if they are carrying a heavy load.”
So what have I been up to the past few months, I have been growing up. I pray and trust God. I complain less and work harder. I do ministry to the best of my ability. I live to put a smile on my fiancées face. And when I get an extra minute, I fish! Lol And I do it all to the Glory of God. If I could do these things for the rest of my life, then I will be happy.
I would like to take a moment to thank all of you who have been reading along for the past few years. You have helped me grow up through reading, commenting, encouraging and challenging me. You all mean the world to me. I know I am speaking with finality but this is only a new beginning!
I finish this blog with a quote from the apostle paul: “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
A Beautiful Mess...
When I was 21 I went searching for a job at the Chico mall. I wasn't going to leave that mall until I had a job and I ended up finding three. One was at Radio shack, the other was at a verizon wireless store, and the last was at sears hardware. I went with the first one to hire me, Sears. I later found out I got both of the other jobs, which would have paid me a lot more. Well, until I learned how to sell, after which I was making some decent change.
I remember not liking Sears at first. I sat there at my crappy job quiet, isolated, confused, hating the managers, hating the folks I worked with, counting the minutes until the day was over. I hated that job but now, looking back, I realize that keeping that job was one of the best decisions I ever made. It didn't seem like it back then. All I could see in those days was annoying people, lazy hypocritical managers, and low pay, which blinded me to what God was doing in my life.
This weekend I went camping with my buddies from the sears days. Good guys and great friends that I would have missed out on if I had picked a different job. Three out of the 10 guys that I chose to be my groomsmen at our wedding next May worked with me at Sears. After all this time I finally realize why I worked at sears and not at the other places.
What I'm trying to say is that sometimes the near future looks bad. You wish yourself out of those stages in your life because you can't see the greater scheme of your life. You never know what God will do to make the situation better. He creates a beautiful mess out of the irreparable. For that I am eternally grateful!
I remember not liking Sears at first. I sat there at my crappy job quiet, isolated, confused, hating the managers, hating the folks I worked with, counting the minutes until the day was over. I hated that job but now, looking back, I realize that keeping that job was one of the best decisions I ever made. It didn't seem like it back then. All I could see in those days was annoying people, lazy hypocritical managers, and low pay, which blinded me to what God was doing in my life.
This weekend I went camping with my buddies from the sears days. Good guys and great friends that I would have missed out on if I had picked a different job. Three out of the 10 guys that I chose to be my groomsmen at our wedding next May worked with me at Sears. After all this time I finally realize why I worked at sears and not at the other places.
What I'm trying to say is that sometimes the near future looks bad. You wish yourself out of those stages in your life because you can't see the greater scheme of your life. You never know what God will do to make the situation better. He creates a beautiful mess out of the irreparable. For that I am eternally grateful!
Monday, April 4, 2011
30 Days of Truth: Day 21
Day 21 - (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Finally an easy one! lol
I would definitely rush to be by their side. I can get mad with the best of them but I am a genuine friend. a fight is nothing, friendship surpasses tiffs. I would be with them in a heartbeat because i love my friends!
Finally an easy one! lol
I would definitely rush to be by their side. I can get mad with the best of them but I am a genuine friend. a fight is nothing, friendship surpasses tiffs. I would be with them in a heartbeat because i love my friends!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
30 Days of Truth: Day 9 (for Yesterday)
Day 9 - Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
This would be my friend Paloma. I've known her for 10 years now (wow, has it been that long?). At one point she was my best friend, but then all kinds of drama happened and we stopped talking for a while. then we became good friends again, but not nearly as close as we were before.
We have always been good friends even though we live a few hours apart and never see each other. In fact we have probably seen each other about 10 times in the 10 years that we have been friends. It’s mostly her fault lol. Every time that I tell her to hang out, she bails, but I love her anyway.
Ever since last year, we started drifting apart. We used to talk at the very least once every two weeks but time and distance came in between us. Our daily lives consist of other friendships, other activities, and other lives. I hope that we stay friends, because 10 year friendship isn’t easy to come by. I miss her friendship sometimes, I hope she knows that.
This would be my friend Paloma. I've known her for 10 years now (wow, has it been that long?). At one point she was my best friend, but then all kinds of drama happened and we stopped talking for a while. then we became good friends again, but not nearly as close as we were before.
We have always been good friends even though we live a few hours apart and never see each other. In fact we have probably seen each other about 10 times in the 10 years that we have been friends. It’s mostly her fault lol. Every time that I tell her to hang out, she bails, but I love her anyway.
Ever since last year, we started drifting apart. We used to talk at the very least once every two weeks but time and distance came in between us. Our daily lives consist of other friendships, other activities, and other lives. I hope that we stay friends, because 10 year friendship isn’t easy to come by. I miss her friendship sometimes, I hope she knows that.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Outgrowing...
Is it possible to outgrow friends, even when you are both already adults? Throughout the past year or so I feel that I have matured a bit (or so I say, right?). I am trying my best to be a grown up, to handle my responsibilities and make better decisions. In doing so, my life has changed quite a bit. Meanwhile The two guys who I was closer to in the past few years, its almost as if they have taken steps back. The main culprit would be the mental fountain of youth we all call video games. My buddies have fallen captive to video game addiction at startling levels. On new years I ended up finding out that one of my buddies (age 26) has steeped up his gaming time to 49 hours a week, and to be honest, I think he was lying, I think he was minimizing because I was the first person who had ever asked him that. My other two buddies aren’t falling behind either. My simple problem, I’m not into video games anymore! I am trying hard not to waste my time and make every minute count. I have different things to worry about. The result is times while we are sitting in a car and I will have absolutely nothing to say to them (think awkward silence and multiply it by all 30 minutes of a car trip. We officially don’t share anything in common anymore. We don’t relate to each other on any level. I feel bad saying that I have outgrown them but that seems to be the only truth.
What do you guys think? Is it rude/wrong to outgrow people? And if you do, should you tell them or just avoid them?
What do you guys think? Is it rude/wrong to outgrow people? And if you do, should you tell them or just avoid them?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Poem: Dissapear
You have disappeared into thin air
Its like the fog swallowed you up and digested you
until you became a wasted version of who you once were
To me, you were a rock star!
You were a picture on a wall that represented so much more
You were heart and soul,
Flesh and Blood,
Intelligence and talent
You were the first thought on my mind
when good combined with time
and music combined with rhyme
you’re the first one I would find
when I felt lost and scared
You empathized with me when all I asked for was sympathy
You were strength when I was weak, Jesus in flesh
Sacrifice of your last penny
So that I can make sense of life again
You were side-splitting laughter
Revealing intestines, nicotine-stained lungs,
and heart enough for ten men
you were my friend, my confidant
My Idol and my biggest fan
You were potential untapped
You were Light waiting to erupt into darkness
Tearing it into shards
You were tethered excellence,
Underrated genius
That in a just world would have been a billionaire,
Famous and worry-free
There was no one like you
Not even close
But you were a fortress to the outside world
You were a fetal position hiding behind walls of laughter
Shielded by quips and one liners
Twice as tall as anybodies attempts to find the real you
You were hope hanging on by the sliver of a string
A man climbing mountains of faith
With no vision
Loyal to the end
While others were fake from the beginning
You remained true as your foes attacked you
Feeding you lies about worthlessness and failure
until you had your fill
I watched you as you began to burn bridges
And go at it alone
I held out a helping hand which you dismissed
In attempt to fix your broken existence
By calling it your own mess
And insisting that nobody could fix it but you.
And I watched you,
As you crashed and burned on a dark winter night
Toppling over like a once mighty tower
Giving into the lesser of evils
And yet abandoning
The faith you had in God,
as he disappeared from your sight
The faith I had in you,
as You disappeared from my life
And the faith you had in yourself
as you disappeared into thin air
surrendering in your own fight…
Its like the fog swallowed you up and digested you
until you became a wasted version of who you once were
To me, you were a rock star!
You were a picture on a wall that represented so much more
You were heart and soul,
Flesh and Blood,
Intelligence and talent
You were the first thought on my mind
when good combined with time
and music combined with rhyme
you’re the first one I would find
when I felt lost and scared
You empathized with me when all I asked for was sympathy
You were strength when I was weak, Jesus in flesh
Sacrifice of your last penny
So that I can make sense of life again
You were side-splitting laughter
Revealing intestines, nicotine-stained lungs,
and heart enough for ten men
you were my friend, my confidant
My Idol and my biggest fan
You were potential untapped
You were Light waiting to erupt into darkness
Tearing it into shards
You were tethered excellence,
Underrated genius
That in a just world would have been a billionaire,
Famous and worry-free
There was no one like you
Not even close
But you were a fortress to the outside world
You were a fetal position hiding behind walls of laughter
Shielded by quips and one liners
Twice as tall as anybodies attempts to find the real you
You were hope hanging on by the sliver of a string
A man climbing mountains of faith
With no vision
Loyal to the end
While others were fake from the beginning
You remained true as your foes attacked you
Feeding you lies about worthlessness and failure
until you had your fill
I watched you as you began to burn bridges
And go at it alone
I held out a helping hand which you dismissed
In attempt to fix your broken existence
By calling it your own mess
And insisting that nobody could fix it but you.
And I watched you,
As you crashed and burned on a dark winter night
Toppling over like a once mighty tower
Giving into the lesser of evils
And yet abandoning
The faith you had in God,
as he disappeared from your sight
The faith I had in you,
as You disappeared from my life
And the faith you had in yourself
as you disappeared into thin air
surrendering in your own fight…
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
30 Day Project: Day 21
Day 21: A picture of something you wish you could forget.
I wish i could forget old friendships, the ones that haven't worked out. The ones who have betrayed me, hurt me, and scarred me. Some i have been able to forget, others I still remember. I wish I could just delete all those memories... kind of like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or something. Great movie by the way, you should check it out!
I wish i could forget old friendships, the ones that haven't worked out. The ones who have betrayed me, hurt me, and scarred me. Some i have been able to forget, others I still remember. I wish I could just delete all those memories... kind of like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or something. Great movie by the way, you should check it out!
Thursday, January 6, 2011
30 Day Project: Day 08
Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.
On my 27th Birthday my amazing girlfriend threw me a surprise birthday party and invited my closest friends (some of which didn't come, but i forgive them). It was a great party and we had a grand old time! This picture here shows me with my boys. In this specific shot we were trying to come up with different poses. somebody had shouted out, "throw up a gang sign!" While all of us began thinking of the sign we would flash, My buddy phil, (which is the only white guy, but i love him, lol) decided to throw up the moose ears which turned this picture into a much more memorable moment than gang signs would have! lol
On my 27th Birthday my amazing girlfriend threw me a surprise birthday party and invited my closest friends (some of which didn't come, but i forgive them). It was a great party and we had a grand old time! This picture here shows me with my boys. In this specific shot we were trying to come up with different poses. somebody had shouted out, "throw up a gang sign!" While all of us began thinking of the sign we would flash, My buddy phil, (which is the only white guy, but i love him, lol) decided to throw up the moose ears which turned this picture into a much more memorable moment than gang signs would have! lol
Friday, December 31, 2010
Happy New Year Everybody!!
Hey folks!
Just wanted to wish each and every one of you a VERY happy New year! I hope 2011 is a great year for each of you. as for me and my squad, we will be in good ol San Francisco for the night, should be fun! I'm out of work at 4pm, gotta go get a haircut, a shower, get dressed, get red bulls and head out to the City! Have fun tonight folks and be safe. God Bless
-J.
Just wanted to wish each and every one of you a VERY happy New year! I hope 2011 is a great year for each of you. as for me and my squad, we will be in good ol San Francisco for the night, should be fun! I'm out of work at 4pm, gotta go get a haircut, a shower, get dressed, get red bulls and head out to the City! Have fun tonight folks and be safe. God Bless
-J.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Post #500: The Greatest Blog Followers in the World!
I Would like to welcome everybody who has been reading this blog for the past 2 years and those that have been reading for the past two days. Whoever you are, this post is for you.
Ladies and gentleman, for your reading pleasure I give you… (wait for it…)
POST #500!
Yes indeed! It has taken me 2 ½ years now to arrive at this milestone and I am glad to be here. Perhaps at the beginning of next year I will do a “best of” series but I guess I will have to see if it will work. Anyway, I thought long about what I would choose to honor in my 500th post. As you all (may or may not) know, I usually choose a topic and then honor it with my milestone posts.
With that I wanted to make this 500th post as special if not more. I racked my brain as to what I could talk about and then it hit me… there’s nothing better to dedicate my page to than to my most faithful readers/ commenters! I’m talking about the people that started commenting one day and never stopped, regardless of how redundant my posts got, how childish my behavior was or how scattered my posts became. They are the reason that I am still blogging and so with my 500th post I not only want to honor these 4 women, but also recommend their blogs! So without further adieu I give you My top four blog followers! (BTW, Their Blog titles will include a link straight to their page, PLEASE check them out and let them know that I sent you!
Paulinescountrytales - Paulinescountrytales
Paula, you are an awesome woman! You have a way of making living on a farm seem like its regularly filled with incredible experiences. And for all I know it really is! You are great at blogging, its no wonder you have so many readers! And yet The best part about you is that you genuinely care about each of your readers. More than once you have given me motherly advice and you are very encouraging so I must say that I greatly appreciate you being part of my blogging experience. Thank you Paula!
This is the Story of a Girl - This is the Story of a Girl
What can I say, bud! You’re the best friend and sister a guy can ever have. Thanks for always reading my rants and commenting even though you are constantly hearing my crap at home! Lol well anyway, great blog, you need to write more regularly to keep my attention but then again I’m just ADD, lol. Thank you Iris!
**With that said, Thank you all for reading this post and commenting on it. Greater thanks go to all those that have read many of my posts and left me comments throughout my two years with blogger. I hope to see you on this blog in the future. I hope your blogs get high traffic and great comments. May God Bless you all and here’s to 500 more posts!
Ladies and gentleman, for your reading pleasure I give you… (wait for it…)
POST #500!
Yes indeed! It has taken me 2 ½ years now to arrive at this milestone and I am glad to be here. Perhaps at the beginning of next year I will do a “best of” series but I guess I will have to see if it will work. Anyway, I thought long about what I would choose to honor in my 500th post. As you all (may or may not) know, I usually choose a topic and then honor it with my milestone posts.
Ex.
100th - My reason for writing.
200th – Barack Obama Becoming the 44th President of the United States
300th – The Bands that made me love rock music.
400th – The San Franciso 49ers – My favorite Football team!
With that I wanted to make this 500th post as special if not more. I racked my brain as to what I could talk about and then it hit me… there’s nothing better to dedicate my page to than to my most faithful readers/ commenters! I’m talking about the people that started commenting one day and never stopped, regardless of how redundant my posts got, how childish my behavior was or how scattered my posts became. They are the reason that I am still blogging and so with my 500th post I not only want to honor these 4 women, but also recommend their blogs! So without further adieu I give you My top four blog followers! (BTW, Their Blog titles will include a link straight to their page, PLEASE check them out and let them know that I sent you!
Mode. - Mode. - wardrobe stylist and image consultant, nashville TN
- I must admit, I don’t check out your blog as much as I used to and I apologize for that. Ever since it changed from a life blog to a style blog, I find it a bit much for my life. I am a man with absolutely no sense of style so your blog is too advanced for me! :( either way I do thank you for all your comments and ladies, please do check out cici’s blog. She has a great sense of style, shes intelligent and quirky and a good friend! Thank You Cici
Paulinescountrytales - Paulinescountrytales
Paula, you are an awesome woman! You have a way of making living on a farm seem like its regularly filled with incredible experiences. And for all I know it really is! You are great at blogging, its no wonder you have so many readers! And yet The best part about you is that you genuinely care about each of your readers. More than once you have given me motherly advice and you are very encouraging so I must say that I greatly appreciate you being part of my blogging experience. Thank you Paula!
Clinically Clueless -
Clinically Clueless
You are a great friend and a great person. I love how you stand up for what you believe in (and write about those things regularly), I hold that quality in very high regard. I greatly appreciate all you work and I am proud of all that you have accomplished this far in your life. You are such an amazing and inspirational person and I hope you know that. Thank you CC!
This is the Story of a Girl - This is the Story of a Girl
What can I say, bud! You’re the best friend and sister a guy can ever have. Thanks for always reading my rants and commenting even though you are constantly hearing my crap at home! Lol well anyway, great blog, you need to write more regularly to keep my attention but then again I’m just ADD, lol. Thank you Iris!
**With that said, Thank you all for reading this post and commenting on it. Greater thanks go to all those that have read many of my posts and left me comments throughout my two years with blogger. I hope to see you on this blog in the future. I hope your blogs get high traffic and great comments. May God Bless you all and here’s to 500 more posts!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
New Friends...
New friends…
This is taken from Donald Millers tips on growing up for those in their twenties.
“1. Lose your friends: If your friends aren’t ambitious, if they don’t have clear plans, you probably won’t either. This doesn’t mean to reject them, but it does mean if your friends want to lay around doing nothing all day, get some new friends. The single greatest influence playing on you is your friends. You will become like the people you hang around.”
So let me first clarify that this is not so much a “mad at my friends so I am talking crap” blog entry, this is actually about me. At some point I wanted to write an entry about “quarter life Crisis” and how my current situation had finally been diagnosed but apparently I was too lazy to do that. Well either way, I think my life is a living testament to that concept!
So for a while now I’ve been plagued with ideas about this concept or “condition” and my honest belief is that God is giving me a nudge in the direction that I am supposed to be heading. I am in the process of doing a few things that will change the direction of my life forever.
I have read a few articles about the masculinity crisis in the US. It seems that in the past the trajectory for a Male’s life has been going from boy to man. Apparently at some point being a “teenager” was accepted as another step in this path and now there is a new step called “extended adolecense.”
I think Mark Driscoll explained it best when he said:
“It’s just extended adolescence, where 20s, 30s, sometimes even in his 40s, he doesn’t really want to get married, doesn’t really want to have kids, doesn’t really want to pursue a career. He has a lot of hobbies, got a lot of buddies, watches a lot of porn, gambles, has a lot of fun, maybe plays in some band or is in a guild of World of Warcraft, or something ridiculous like that. And they’ve even got little [mottos] like, “It’s all good” and, “Bros before hos.” It’s just this whole adolescent, juvenile culture.”
And ladies and gentleman, I have allowed this description to lord over my life for way too long. So I am making changes. But what about the people that I hang out with?
Here is the truth: most of my friends are irresponsible, have REAL dead end jobs, are not going to school, are in no position to get married, even less to have kids, have a lot of hobbies, have no word as men, and play ridiculous amounts of time playing video games. These are the people that are hanging around me. And the truth of the matter is that:” birds of a feather flock together.” But “It’s difficult to soar with eagles when you are scratching with the turkeys”. My mom always used to tell me, “dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres” = “tell me who you hang out with and I will tell you who you are.”
And apparently this is true. I am my friends. And yet I want to be so much more than that! I am in the process of becoming the Man that God wants me to be and right now I feel that these guys are holding me back. I love them and I always will but they are dragging me down and right now I need to soar with eagles. so here's to growing up!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
No Drama! lol
Once upon a time I was friends with a lot of girls. I grew up around a lot of girls so I was comfortable around them. I’ve always been kind of an emotional guy so I seemed to be able to talk to them easier than I do with guys. I used to think that guys were all the same but I think it’s more about guys intentionally TRYING to be the same just so that they will be accepted by each other. But that is another story.
I have always had guy friends as well. In fact around guys I was always sort of the leader of the pack, the crews biggest mouthpiece, and the teams ambassador to women( I was the only one not afraid to talk to them). It’s easy to get along with guys but not necessarily to have a friendship that goes past football, pizza and video games. Guys can be very shallow when it comes to friendship.
Fast forward to the present: I don’t really have any girl friends. In fact I now have all guy friends! In ways it’s good. You don’t have to invest any feelings into a friendship with guys so nobody gets hurt. They are down to watch sports with you and eat with you all the time. Friendships are about as deep as a puddle but it is what it is. No girlfriends= no drama, but sometimes I miss the drama, lol.
So I guess my question is do you have friends of the opposite sex? Do you get along with them better or worse than with same sex?
I have always had guy friends as well. In fact around guys I was always sort of the leader of the pack, the crews biggest mouthpiece, and the teams ambassador to women( I was the only one not afraid to talk to them). It’s easy to get along with guys but not necessarily to have a friendship that goes past football, pizza and video games. Guys can be very shallow when it comes to friendship.
Fast forward to the present: I don’t really have any girl friends. In fact I now have all guy friends! In ways it’s good. You don’t have to invest any feelings into a friendship with guys so nobody gets hurt. They are down to watch sports with you and eat with you all the time. Friendships are about as deep as a puddle but it is what it is. No girlfriends= no drama, but sometimes I miss the drama, lol.
So I guess my question is do you have friends of the opposite sex? Do you get along with them better or worse than with same sex?
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
When Friends Attack!
The temperature was rising, Man pride was being tested, words were being launched, and egos were flaring up! That’s the only way to describe yesterday’s events as I got into a HUGE argument over something trivial. Today, my friend is mad at me for an argument over a statement he said but apparently doesn’t remember saying.
You ever seen two stubborn people getting into an argument? It’s kind of like two alpha male Lions battling for status over the pride.
Stubborn people are so terrible, I being the most stubborn of these, lol. The problem is that neither person will back down. It doesn’t matter how small and insignificant the object of the disagreement is, they will still go for the jugular vein with every statement. In our case it started as a joke, escalated to an accusation, it was fueled with mocking and erupted with the questioning of my honor. I wasn’t going to stand by and let some punk accuse me of lying, and so there I was trading insult for insult, (and winning of course) which eventually led to my friend getting so mad he had to leave.
Immediately afterwards I knew I had done wrong and so I apologized. My friend wanted nothing to do with an apology. I apologized today as well. he still doesn’t want to talk to me. My job is done and if he gets over it, I will be cool with him. As for me, I will continue on with my path. Thanks for reading, folks!
You ever seen two stubborn people getting into an argument? It’s kind of like two alpha male Lions battling for status over the pride.
Stubborn people are so terrible, I being the most stubborn of these, lol. The problem is that neither person will back down. It doesn’t matter how small and insignificant the object of the disagreement is, they will still go for the jugular vein with every statement. In our case it started as a joke, escalated to an accusation, it was fueled with mocking and erupted with the questioning of my honor. I wasn’t going to stand by and let some punk accuse me of lying, and so there I was trading insult for insult, (and winning of course) which eventually led to my friend getting so mad he had to leave.
Immediately afterwards I knew I had done wrong and so I apologized. My friend wanted nothing to do with an apology. I apologized today as well. he still doesn’t want to talk to me. My job is done and if he gets over it, I will be cool with him. As for me, I will continue on with my path. Thanks for reading, folks!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Friends and Growing up
If there were a moment in your life that would in fact change you, what you believe about a specific subject, and the outcome of certain events in your life… would you recognize it? I talked to an old friend I hadn’t talked to in about a year. Its interesting because about two years ago she was like a little sister to me and now She is a stranger. I was remembering that we had a talk in the park where we weighed out the pro’s and cons of her moving to Arizona to be part of a discipleship group and how she was surprised to hear that I thought she should go even though I have ideological and philosophical differences with the group. A couple of weeks later she packed up and moved to AZ, and our friendship would fall apart after that.
Over the past year or so I realize that I have changed. I don’t mope around when thinking of friendships anymore. I no longer demand perfection from my friends. I don’t expect much from friends at all besides a few good laughs and some good times. I still believe that I should always be there for my friends if they need it but I don’t expect anybody to be there for me, not anymore.
So I realize that these experiences that I have had along with applying the scientific method to my situation have caused me to understand friendship and grow.
And so I now sit here, on the other side of the question, not only knowing, but experiencing the answer. I realize that any given friendship can either last for a very long time or fall apart within a short period of time; I have no control over that. Nonetheless I am to remain the same person and treat them all as friends. I realize that the most trivial of conversations can echo in eternity and while I have no control over which conversation will do so, I can control what I say and handle every situation with this thought in mind.
Over the past year or so I realize that I have changed. I don’t mope around when thinking of friendships anymore. I no longer demand perfection from my friends. I don’t expect much from friends at all besides a few good laughs and some good times. I still believe that I should always be there for my friends if they need it but I don’t expect anybody to be there for me, not anymore.
So I realize that these experiences that I have had along with applying the scientific method to my situation have caused me to understand friendship and grow.
And so I now sit here, on the other side of the question, not only knowing, but experiencing the answer. I realize that any given friendship can either last for a very long time or fall apart within a short period of time; I have no control over that. Nonetheless I am to remain the same person and treat them all as friends. I realize that the most trivial of conversations can echo in eternity and while I have no control over which conversation will do so, I can control what I say and handle every situation with this thought in mind.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Meeting D
Ever meet a person that you realize right away has the potential of a huge part of your life?
For me that would be my small group leader D! a little background: I have been at a new church FOR EXACTLY A YEAR NOW!**** When we first started attending this new church we signed up for a small group in our town of woodland which failed after a few months. (For details please click HERE). Well my chronic neuroticism had me contemplating all the negative thoughts about searching for and joining a new group. I hated the fact that I had to start all over again and try to warm up to complete strangers based on the one thing that we have in common, our faith!
The first time I met our group leader D I thought, “This guy is cool as ish!” He is a great leader, humble, down to earth, loquacious, inspirational, funny, compassionate and genuine. On the first day we stuck around and just started talking to him, asking questions and just engaging in conversation. We have been doing that almost every week, just sticking around after group to talk to D.
Today he dropped me a message on facebook just to see how I’m doing. To me this is huge especially coming from a church where the only time I talked to my pastor was to hear a complaint. I’m glad to be part of a group where the leader wholeheartedly cares about his small group members.
I’m not sure if D will be a big part of my life (perhaps the mentor relationship that I have needed for so long) but as for now he seems to me like a cool guy who genuinely cares and I really do appreciate that.
For me that would be my small group leader D! a little background: I have been at a new church FOR EXACTLY A YEAR NOW!**** When we first started attending this new church we signed up for a small group in our town of woodland which failed after a few months. (For details please click HERE). Well my chronic neuroticism had me contemplating all the negative thoughts about searching for and joining a new group. I hated the fact that I had to start all over again and try to warm up to complete strangers based on the one thing that we have in common, our faith!
The first time I met our group leader D I thought, “This guy is cool as ish!” He is a great leader, humble, down to earth, loquacious, inspirational, funny, compassionate and genuine. On the first day we stuck around and just started talking to him, asking questions and just engaging in conversation. We have been doing that almost every week, just sticking around after group to talk to D.
Today he dropped me a message on facebook just to see how I’m doing. To me this is huge especially coming from a church where the only time I talked to my pastor was to hear a complaint. I’m glad to be part of a group where the leader wholeheartedly cares about his small group members.
I’m not sure if D will be a big part of my life (perhaps the mentor relationship that I have needed for so long) but as for now he seems to me like a cool guy who genuinely cares and I really do appreciate that.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
This IS the end, friend!
Is it possible to be attacked by the devil in the area of friends because if so, that is what’s happening to me, lol. Right about this time all my attempts to hold long-term relationships have collapsed. I don’t understand, I love people for who they are and they don’t give a damn! It doesn’t even matter?! Lol
I GIVE UP!
I’m a 27 year old man! Now it’s just pathetic and I realize that. I’m finished trying to make friends now. I will keep everything shallow as possible with EVERYBODY and only be deep with the good old boys: Rigo and Outsider. Aside from them and my family, F^*% everybody else! F^*% them!
….that actually makes me feel good. Time to grow up now! Much love folks!
I GIVE UP!
I’m a 27 year old man! Now it’s just pathetic and I realize that. I’m finished trying to make friends now. I will keep everything shallow as possible with EVERYBODY and only be deep with the good old boys: Rigo and Outsider. Aside from them and my family, F^*% everybody else! F^*% them!
….that actually makes me feel good. Time to grow up now! Much love folks!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Yet Another One On Friendship...
Sometimes I will be doing something and all of a sudden my mind will be triggered to thoughts of one of my past friends. At this point I remember them vividly, their smile, sense of humor, laugh or personalities. I begin to remember the good things about my past friends, the good times I had with them, the reasons that they became my friends to begin with. I wonder what they are up to now and I start to think whether or not I should give them a call just to see how they are doing.
Funny thing about it is that no matter how bad it ended I always remember the good and not the bad. It’s like my heart chooses to remember them as a friend and not an enemy. If I really try I can remember the reason that we stopped being friends. That specific comment, that attitude, that action or the simple fact that they moved on from our friendship when I was beginning to consider them as a huge part of my life. I can remember betrayal, backstabbing, smack talking, fights but what hurts more than anything for some reason are those that I loved even though I didn’t seem to matter much to them at all. My mind does not comprehend how a person can just see you as passing by even though you were always there for them no matter what.
I know I have problems with the idea of friendship (I have problems in General, lol). Its just that when people enter my life, when I allow them to enter my heart, I expect them to care about me, to genuinely love me. I know people say you have to love people as they are but I always do, it just seems like they don’t do the same towards me. Many times what I see is that people just let go, move on and forget about me. To this day I don’t understand why most people are like that. And I probably never will.
Funny thing about it is that no matter how bad it ended I always remember the good and not the bad. It’s like my heart chooses to remember them as a friend and not an enemy. If I really try I can remember the reason that we stopped being friends. That specific comment, that attitude, that action or the simple fact that they moved on from our friendship when I was beginning to consider them as a huge part of my life. I can remember betrayal, backstabbing, smack talking, fights but what hurts more than anything for some reason are those that I loved even though I didn’t seem to matter much to them at all. My mind does not comprehend how a person can just see you as passing by even though you were always there for them no matter what.
I know I have problems with the idea of friendship (I have problems in General, lol). Its just that when people enter my life, when I allow them to enter my heart, I expect them to care about me, to genuinely love me. I know people say you have to love people as they are but I always do, it just seems like they don’t do the same towards me. Many times what I see is that people just let go, move on and forget about me. To this day I don’t understand why most people are like that. And I probably never will.
Friday, June 26, 2009
About friendship…
My eternal struggle has been one with friendship. I think it comes from being a loner, being misunderstood. I think it comes from desiring my acceptance from people rather than from God. There are a lot of things that contribute to this battle. A while back I wrote a journal entry (personal journal) that talked about how I finally figured out friendship… and I actually have. It’s funny, after all these years I finally figured it out. Friendship is hanging around people in full love and acceptance and enjoying their company as much as they enjoy you. It’s not necessarily meant to be a forever thing but if you’re lucky, some of them will be around forever.
My entire life I have tried to get friends, keep them, test them and not trust them and eventually end up have them walk away. Well, I figured that after realizing what friendship was I would do better in it… This blog is about trying not to fail.
In the past few years I met a couple of people that I often called friends. Rightfully so they were. Well I sort of ran a little experiment with the two of them (accidentally! It just turned out this way due to the time in which we hung out.) So let’s set this up right! Lol
Observation: current method of friendship is failing… must be a better way of becoming friends.
Hypothesis: If I simply enjoy my friends and don’t hold them to any standards while allowing them to get to know me then there will be a no pressure type of friendship and we will become good friends.
Experimentation: based on a period of about two years I became friends with each of them, using separate methods for the two. The girl (I will call her Li) I was super close with for a while and I held her to my previous standards of friendship. I told her about how I didn’t trust people and challenged her to be a real friend unlike others. I tested her and simply held her to a higher standard than others. The guy (I will call him lu) well I took a different approach in my friendship with him. I applied my new found understanding of friendship towards him and watched as we became close even though I kept a distance. We hung out; we loved e/o, prayed for e/o, etc. without holding him to any standard or testing him in anyway.
Results: complete and utter failure! Although the two friends were exposed to different types of friendship, they still ended up separating from me to the point that we don’t really talk a lot anymore. It doesn’t matter what type of friendship I use, they still end up leaving at some point.
Conclusion: It’s okay, and I’m okay! Friends are there for a season and during that season you must enjoy them. Sooner or later we get sick of e/o. at which point we move on to new friends. Surrounding ourselves with a new group ensures that we continue to grow as people. Even though you don’t love a person as a friend anymore that doesn’t mean you can’t care for them as a one time friend.
Although I understand this conclusion the innermost part of me says that friendship is forever. Friends are those that stay by your side no matter what. But I realize that those are only the true friends and those friends are hard to come by. In our lifetime we might only have a handful of true friends. The rest are just passing by. So upon realizing this and trying not to revert back to the type of friend that I was; I move forward in this knowledge learning to just love and appreciate people while they are with me. If they end up sticking around forever then great, but I should never assume that they will just stick around. I’m trying my best, folks!
My entire life I have tried to get friends, keep them, test them and not trust them and eventually end up have them walk away. Well, I figured that after realizing what friendship was I would do better in it… This blog is about trying not to fail.
In the past few years I met a couple of people that I often called friends. Rightfully so they were. Well I sort of ran a little experiment with the two of them (accidentally! It just turned out this way due to the time in which we hung out.) So let’s set this up right! Lol
Observation: current method of friendship is failing… must be a better way of becoming friends.
Hypothesis: If I simply enjoy my friends and don’t hold them to any standards while allowing them to get to know me then there will be a no pressure type of friendship and we will become good friends.
Experimentation: based on a period of about two years I became friends with each of them, using separate methods for the two. The girl (I will call her Li) I was super close with for a while and I held her to my previous standards of friendship. I told her about how I didn’t trust people and challenged her to be a real friend unlike others. I tested her and simply held her to a higher standard than others. The guy (I will call him lu) well I took a different approach in my friendship with him. I applied my new found understanding of friendship towards him and watched as we became close even though I kept a distance. We hung out; we loved e/o, prayed for e/o, etc. without holding him to any standard or testing him in anyway.
Results: complete and utter failure! Although the two friends were exposed to different types of friendship, they still ended up separating from me to the point that we don’t really talk a lot anymore. It doesn’t matter what type of friendship I use, they still end up leaving at some point.
Conclusion: It’s okay, and I’m okay! Friends are there for a season and during that season you must enjoy them. Sooner or later we get sick of e/o. at which point we move on to new friends. Surrounding ourselves with a new group ensures that we continue to grow as people. Even though you don’t love a person as a friend anymore that doesn’t mean you can’t care for them as a one time friend.
Although I understand this conclusion the innermost part of me says that friendship is forever. Friends are those that stay by your side no matter what. But I realize that those are only the true friends and those friends are hard to come by. In our lifetime we might only have a handful of true friends. The rest are just passing by. So upon realizing this and trying not to revert back to the type of friend that I was; I move forward in this knowledge learning to just love and appreciate people while they are with me. If they end up sticking around forever then great, but I should never assume that they will just stick around. I’m trying my best, folks!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Walk Away From Me, The Night Is Done…
I want you to take a second and think back to the past… All of the heart breaks and difficult times that you thought you would never move past. Those times that seemed eternal and inescapable while you were living them.
Do you remember those people that seemed unforgettable with their faces heavily seared into your mind; their voices lingering in your every thought? It could be a friend, a family member or an ex that had been a part of your life. Either way, these people left lasting impressions on you that in fact haunted you for a while but over time you were actually able to forget.
I thank God that we are able to forget and move on. That even those that were immense parts of our lives and then chose to leave us for whatever reason are now simple parts of our past. As you grow up and as you move on, the test of time proves who is really meant to be part of your life. No matter how much you wish you could hold on to certain people, sometimes letting go reveals to you that you were the only one holding on.
And so you try to move on, letting the pain eat away at you, hoping that they will be back, not realizing that they were not meant to be a part of your life. Slowly but surely you learn to move on, forcing yourself to try to forget. And after a while you begin to move forward, you learn to live without them, you learn to grow and mature without them so that before you know it, you really do recreate your life without them having any part of it.
To those of you trying to forget somebody, stay strong and know that your time away from them gives you the strength to realize that you don’t need them. To those of you that have been through this process I invite you to flash a smile or lift a glass of whatever you have in front of you, toast yourself or simply remember the fact that you overcame their every haunting memory and that you learned to live without them.
Do you remember those people that seemed unforgettable with their faces heavily seared into your mind; their voices lingering in your every thought? It could be a friend, a family member or an ex that had been a part of your life. Either way, these people left lasting impressions on you that in fact haunted you for a while but over time you were actually able to forget.
I thank God that we are able to forget and move on. That even those that were immense parts of our lives and then chose to leave us for whatever reason are now simple parts of our past. As you grow up and as you move on, the test of time proves who is really meant to be part of your life. No matter how much you wish you could hold on to certain people, sometimes letting go reveals to you that you were the only one holding on.
And so you try to move on, letting the pain eat away at you, hoping that they will be back, not realizing that they were not meant to be a part of your life. Slowly but surely you learn to move on, forcing yourself to try to forget. And after a while you begin to move forward, you learn to live without them, you learn to grow and mature without them so that before you know it, you really do recreate your life without them having any part of it.
To those of you trying to forget somebody, stay strong and know that your time away from them gives you the strength to realize that you don’t need them. To those of you that have been through this process I invite you to flash a smile or lift a glass of whatever you have in front of you, toast yourself or simply remember the fact that you overcame their every haunting memory and that you learned to live without them.
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