A Rare Moment!

Today is one of those rare days where I believe God. I believe when He says that I'm going to be a pastor one day. I know what I must to to achieve that goal. I know That God has gifted me in specific ways and that I must grow in others.

I am reading a book called Confessions of a Reformission Rev. It's written by one of my favorite Pastors: Mark Driscoll. It is about the struggles and challenges he had starting out his small 10 people church only to expand it by the grace of God into the 13,000 plus people Mega church that he pastors today!

As I said, i see my strengths and weaknesses today. I see my talent and the areas I need to work on. I see who God wants me to be and who I am. It's a rare moment today...I actually believe God.

A Different Kind of Dream…

I’m starting to dream. It’s not the type of dream that I normally have, it’s completely different. It’s the type of dream that needs water and sun to grow. It’s the type of dream that is productive. It’s the type of dream that I can attain only if I make moves now! And I intend to do exactly that!

It’s a new day. It’s time to have new dreams, turn them into visions, and work hard to make them into realities!

Living a Better Story Blog Entry!

I can remember literally sitting in the dark, PG&E having cut off my electricity for failure to pay my bill. I can remember thinking I would “only take a year off” of college which turned into half a decade. And I can definitely remember every time that my girlfriend has decided that, “we have taken way too long to get married, most couples are only together a couple of years before they get married.” Each one of these are examples of different problems that have occurred as results of my current life story.
When I was a senior in high school I figured out how to live my life with just enough work to get by. To be honest it worked for a while, I got by in every situation with just enough. This has been my life for the past decade, a series of decisions based on a preconfigured system I designed myself to get past any given objective. I got through most of college with a minimal amount of studying and a great term paper or two which amounted to the minimal passing grade. As a youth pastor, I studied up the night before a preaching every time I spoke at a youth night. I decided that a part time job and a few credit cards could get me through my over-indulgent life style.
Then one day, all of my systems came crashing down over me. I won’t go into detail but suffice it to say that my systems all failed and would not only crash down over my circumstances at the time, but the aftershocks also impacted my current situation.
So today I find myself at a job that I don’t like, knowing that I am meant for more. I found the woman of my dreams yet I am not being able to marry her because I not only have bad credit but no money. I want to finish school but I am afraid to lose my job, health benefits, security, etc. And on top of that I am a dreamer, I see myself being the pastor over a church, writing great books, being married to the love of my life and buying her a nice house in a good neighborhood. But the way I am living now, I doubt I would be able to reach any of that.
One day I picked up a book by the best author on earth (not only is this shameless sucking up, I also believe it) and read it cover to cover faster than a Lamborghini does 0 to 60. I couldn’t get my hands off of the book and when I had finished it, it birthed something inside of me. Within me I had a fresh dream that had previously been destroyed by my own hands. I had a goal for my life that I honestly believed I could achieve. I had a vision for a new story, a story that I would tell with my every day decisions and would be written in blood, sweat, prayers and tears.
The day I first read about the “Living a Better Story seminar,” I knew it was a God send. I thought to myself, what better way to kick start this life-change than by attending a seminar with the man himself and soaking up knowledge from the man that wrote the book on re-writing your story? To be honest, I know that attending this conference will not change my life but the experience itself can be an inciting incident that propels me to change my story also giving me practical ideas on how to do so. Even if I am not chosen, I really hope to attend this conference with people that are feeling the same way I feel and living the same way I am, but with a plan to take the pen back and write a new story.
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for more information on the "Living a Better Story Seminar go to this website: www.donmilleris.com/conference
and
Watch this video:

Living a Better Story Seminar from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

To Live The Dream...

In my mind I can imagine being the next young pastor that confidently preaches the word of God and touches people’s lives in the process. I’m talking about lead Pastors of huge churches such as Mark Driscoll, Francis Chan or Rob Bell. Young men that at a younger age than most, are boldly proclaiming the Word of Christ to a lost and dying generation and actually seem to be getting the point across. These are the guys I look up to!
It’s hard enough being young but to be young and to purposely decline the invitation of the flow of society, to create counter culture instead of adding to current culture, to be considered out-dated when the message is timeless, that is reason for persecution and poverty. And nonetheless you find these men standing tall, standing up against the culture that reviles them and standing on the Rock which is Jesus Christ. These guys are young, brilliant, self-confident, funny and the future of Christianity. I want to be like them.
Sometimes I think to myself that I would like to be the next Mark Driscoll, the next Francis Chan. But to be honest I don’t want to be any of them. I want to be me. I want to be the version of me that God wants me to be; the version of me that is confident, courageous and Christ like. I want to be used by the creator of all things to live out the purpose for which He has created me. May God Help me to become that person and to live the dream that he has placed upon my heart!

To follow all these dreams I have and use them for your glory

Yesterday I heard a guy in a video say this:
“…We need to find that one or two things that God has wired us for and offer it back to him, be the best we can at it and He will then use it for His Glory…”
Drawing, painting, singing, playing instruments, each one of those is an obvious talent which can be seen or heard. But what about if you haven’t discovered those things yet? I can honestly say that I am one of those people that first came to God thinking… “but what if you don’t have any talent??” and I’m sure that a lot of young Christians can relate to that, maybe even some older ones. It wasn’t until I was two years into my walk with God that I realized that he had gifted me in preaching, encouraging and writing (don’t worry folks, what you see in this blog isn’t the polished form of my writing, it is very informal. Not many people have read my actual writing. Lol)
To be honest there are times in which I feel that I am simply choosing to hide my talent under a rock or in a hole or something. I know I can be doing so much more, but I’m not. A lot of the time it is due to my own insecurities and doubts. May God Help me to be more confident but more so, to trust and believe him!
Is there anybody out there that understands what I’m saying? Have you ever felt like you were hiding your talents and letting them waste away while God has clearly called you to use them for His Glory??

The Outline!

So today I wrote up the skeleton outline of what may become my first book. It will be the first of a series of spiritual memoirs that I plan on writing. I also plan on doing some non-fiction writing, but that will come later. Pray for me and wish me luck!
-J.

The Future Church...

In the future I know that I am called to full time ministry as a pastor. I wonder about it sometimes. I tend to worry about what that is going to look like but once in a while I will look at it through eyes of faith and see how this all plays out.
I believe I’m supposed to start as a worship cell and nothing else. That will be the beginning of the church. I want the church to be passionate about pursuing a life of worship in his presence. I see this in my current church and so I know that the only thing that can keep a church that big engaged in what God is doing is the presence of God.
I watch the leaders and especially the senior pastor, and the main thing that I notice about him is that he has a genuine relationship with God and he is madly in love with God. That says a lot. I realize that I must fall deeper in love with God. I have to be a pastor that pursues God not only for the church but for himself. Because it is one thing to realize that a church needs God, it is different to know that you need him as well. A leader that genuinely feels a need for God, His Spirit and His voice, is one that is ready to lead God’s people. I hope that I can be that person. Right now I’m not (just to be honest with y’all). Right now I am a neurotic, needy, self conscious, stubborn, selfish, immature… person. That’s me, I’m just being real.
I wonder at times if God can use a person like me. I fear whether or not I will be able to head up a church that will worship God in spirit and truth. I think about my shortcomings and how they will affect my church. I think too much… about everything. I know that what I need to do is fully surrender to God and let His spirit lead me in the direction that he wants. But I have trouble with that too. :)

Bucketlist Item # 9: Be on a rap CD

Don’t judge me but instead listen (or read). When I was 17 years old I wasn’t the same person that I am now. I was an alcoholic, marijuana-addicted, gang member with a death wish. And yet I had dreams. Now lets think. What are the dreams of a poor young ghetto thug that does nothing but get into trouble? Why…becoming a rap star, of course! Lol realistically speaking during those times my dreams consisted of committing heinous crimes that would take me into the walls of a max security penitentiary with the purpose of rising in the ranks of the baddest street/prison gang in California.
But aside from wanting to be in a prison gang (lol) I had a creative side to me. A side that indulged in poetry, grew in writing and was refined in honors English classes. This side saw stars like tupac shakur, and snoop doggy dogg and thought, “what if I could be like them?”
And I chased that dream for a little while but it was exceedingly difficult during those times to find somebody that made beats well or a studio in which to record. Eventually I grew up, went to school, got a job, a car payment, rent, a gym membership and a blog, etc. leaving my dreams of being a rapper at wayside.
I have a bucketlist. As of right now it consists of 11 meaningful things that I want to do before I die. Number 9 talks about being on a rap recording. And I’m happy to say that as of this Saturday I will be putting my voice onto a beat for the first time ever (just for fun). It’s a Christian rap record but its still rap. It’s a small part but it’s huge for me. I’m super excited. I will try my best to put it here on my blog somehow if you guys promise not to laugh!

Before I die...

I want to be the author of at least a couple of books. I never tell anybody this but why not share it with my blog, ya know?

One is obvious: a book about being a youth pastor. Some sort of training manual to help out my fellow youth workers. Over the last few years I have gained a vast amount of experience in working with youth. I have learned so much from working with youth, counseling youth, discipling youth, youth culture, youth problems, ministry in general, etc. That I have to share it with the world.

Well the second one isn't so obvious. I want to write a non-fiction book. Something leads me to think that people would read my writing. I love writing. Sure I get sick of it at times, but I actually enjoy doing it. Oh well, We'll see. Don't be surprised if you see a copy of a book by Juan Lopez Jr. on a shelf at your local bookstore in the future. But then again, its just a dream...