Time dragging by!

This year seems to have slowed things down. It has seemed a bit longer than last year. Maybe its because I have enjoyed it more. I have been married for six months now. Married life is fantastic! We have had arguments but for the most part I have learned to have civilized discussions instead of yelling and going for the jugular like my family does. I’m pretty proud of myself for that. 

Marriage has made me and my wife more mature. Last night we were talking about how far God has brought us and how he has provide and blessed us and we realized God has been so great to us. This year has been a great one and it has dragged by. I love time moving slowly past us. It allows me to enjoy it more. I have enjoyed every minute of it.

I Love My Life!

Where do I begin? First off I am a married man! I married the love of my life on May 26th. It was a HUGE wedding and also the most beautiful wedding I have EVER been to! We had room for about 600 people and about 550 showed up.

My family all drove up from California. A 15 hour drive but my family did it, because they love me! Out of 5 uncles on my dads side and 1 aunt, and 1 uncle on my moms side and 1 aunt, Guess how many showed up? ZERO! And I should have expected that. You remember all those posts about my extended family not caring about me? Turns out they were all true. Surprisingly though, I could care less. it was more of a relief than anything. Now I know who my REAL family is so I don't have to try to be "familiar" with the extended family anymore. My duty is done and now I move on with my life.

My true family all showed up though. My buddy Jaime and his wife becky who helped immensely with everything, my buddy alejandro who came up from stockton on a 21 hour bus ride, My best man Luis and art who flew up from Sacramento, my buddies Paloma and Guera who flew up from the monterey area, my small group leaders/ premarital counselors nick and Leti from vacaville, and the pastor from my old church Rev John Gallegos. These people, they are my REAL family!

I moved in to a duplex with my baby. we bought a bed, couches and washer/dryer so we are all set. I look forward to living in this place for a while, working hard and then purchasing our own home.

I am happier than a person could be right now. I don't know what I could possibly do to deserve this amazing life. If anything I deserve the worst this life has to offer but instead God has blessed me with an amazing wife, an awesome family and a happy home. It's probably the first time you will ever hear me say something like this:  I love my life!

When I Was a Child...

I haven't written an honest post on this blog in months! My apologies to anybody who was still following my blog!
What Have I been up to the past few months? A lot! for the longest time I wanted to write but I had so much going on that I just didn't know where to start. And to be honest, i still don't so I will just jump in the thick of it.
I'm getting married in less than two weeks! Last night was my last weekend at my parents house as a single man. I have the rent paid for at the place that me and my wife will call our home for the next couple of years. I am two weeks away from Cabo with My love! It all seems unreal to me! When I started this blog i felt like such a little emo kid, like a  ittle boy. And as I write this entry I don't feel that way anymore. Any confusion I had about love, friendship, family and life has for the most part been cleared up.
Its funny but now that I am engaged i feel like my life makes sense. I don't mean this in the "This person makes me complete" mentality, but more like this is what I am meant to do. Living for my wife gives my life more purpose.  Responsibility is a good thing. In the past I simply lived for myself and that meant I could live frivolously. Now I have to live for my wife and myself and although it’s a bit nerve racking,  it will make me live a more responsible life. It’s like Mark Driscoll says, “men are like trucks, they will drive straighter if they are carrying a heavy load.”
So what have I been up to the past few months, I have been growing up. I pray and trust God. I complain less and work harder. I do ministry to the best of my ability. I live to put a smile on my fiancées face. And when I get an extra minute, I fish! Lol And I do it all to the Glory of God. If I could do these things for the rest of my life, then I will be happy.
I would like to take a moment to thank all of you who have been reading along for the past few years. You have helped me grow up through reading, commenting, encouraging and challenging me. You all mean the world to me. I know I am speaking with finality but this is only a new beginning!
I finish this blog with a quote from the apostle paul: “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”

I'm Engaged!!

On August 27th 2011 I became engaged to the Love of my life Yajaira Garza. It’s kind of a long story but I will share it anyway. In case you don’t want to read my big story, then this is the gist of it all… I’m engaged!!

The story begins when we were still friends back in 2003. I remember being on the phone with her and she mentioned that one day when she found “the one” she wanted to be proposed to under a pink sky. I didn’t know back when she was telling me this wish that I would one day become a part of it. I didn’t know that I would one day be hunting down a California pink sky and much less how difficult it would be to get one.
Last year we had a conversation about pink skies. I told her how rare they are in Northern California. We talked of how they come at random times and how you could never pinpoint an exact date where you could be sure to find one. I had many plans of how I wanted to propose to my lady, but she was still stuck on the idea of a pink sky. She told me that she preferred a pink sky over anything romantic I could possibly think of. In fact, she told me that she preferred a pink sky in front of some random place, like a target store, over anything else I could think of. And later she added another stipulation; she also wanted a video of the whole event and pictures! So I needed a pink sky, pics and video. I needed some place romantic to do it because obviously I couldn’t just do it in front of some crappy place like a target parking lot! Lol
She arrived on the evening of August 25th. In fact she came right around sundown and the sunset that day was orange, blue and a little bit of pink. As I drove her home from the airport I looked at the sunset and noticed the orange, but the pink hadn’t developed yet. She told me she needed to go to the store and so I took her to target. As we parked the car, the bit of pink appeared and she mentioned that she loved that sky. I told her it wasn’t even pink and she said that she liked it anyway. So there I was… with a ring in my pocket… in front of a TARGET! NO! haha no way I could do that!
My plan was simple. Aside from the first night which was a failure, I needed to take the two nights I was with her, take her somewhere beautiful and hope to God there was a pink sky. Keep in mind pink skies are rare here, and we had already had a pinkish/orangeish sky that I missed out on. I needed a miracle and I’m not lying when I say that I had my church smallgroup and friends helping me pray for a pinksky on the days she was in town. If this was gonna happen, it was going to have to be an act of God.
So Friday August 26th I decide that I’m going to take her to Monterey/carmel. It was sunny up until we got into Monterey then it was cloudy! So we sat there at the beach in Carmel, with a ring in my pocket, two cameras and no pink sky. Day two was a failure.
Saturday August 27th was her last night in town. I was praying so hard for a pink sky that day, since this was her last night. If I didn’t get one I would have to take the game into overtime and head out to Washington to try all over again.
So I took her out to the Napa valley. We went to Castillo Di Amorosa Winery In Calistoga which I highly recommend to anyone visiting napa! The whole tour was about two hours and if we continued to explore we could have easily explored a bit more and hopefully made it to the riverwalk at about sundown to hopefully propose to her. We went to the castle, and when we got there, she decided that she didn’t want to take the tour. I agreed, and we took a self-directed tour without a guide. Only problem with that is that they also close down certain parts of the castle when you take a self guided tour. So we took the tour and we were out of there in about 45 minutes! Lol It was way too early to propose and on top of that it was hot so she was in a bad mood. She told me she wanted to leave Napa. The problem was that I had a ring in my pocket so I went on to plan B: San Francisco.
I checked the weather report and it said that it was partly cloudy in the City so we started driving. When we arrived in the city, it was sunny. I was happy because I figured we could hit a beach, watch the sunset and hope for a pink sky. We drove along and as we headed for the beach, I saw it! It was like a line was drawn in the sky. It went from Light to darkness! It was cloudy, sprinkling, foggy, overall terrible. On top of that I got lost when I was trying to go to the beach and accidently jumped on HWY 101 which led me out of the city! I had to pay 6 bucks to get back into the city even though i had just paid 5! lol I was so mad! At that point I gave up on proposing. My second plan had failed.
I decided I was going to take her to check out the palace of fine arts and I got lost again. My navigator wasn’t working, my maps were down and It was winter in San Francisco! On top of that I took the wrong street and somehow ended up back on 101, headed out of the city so I decided we were leaving! I was so mad! I was even mad at God for not giving me a pink sky. I was acting like a spoiled brat! My girlfriend didn’t try to talk to me; she knew that it was pointless. We listened to music and left San Francisco Northbound on 101, a road that I never take while going home but somehow ended up on that day.
Once again we passed he line in the sky and we left the opaque weather and entered a brighter day just as the sun began setting. It was then that I spotted a little bit of pink in the sky. It clearly wasn’t enough to propose, but I kept my eye on it. As we drove along the sky became more pink and more pink until finally it caught her eye. She stared at it quietly and although we hadn’t been speaking, I knew that this was the moment that I had prayed and waited for. God had provided a pink sky!
At this point I knew what I had to do. I didn’t know where I was but I jumped off of the freeway under the excuse that I had to use the restroom. I pointed out the pink sky and told my girlfriend we should take a picture with it. She agreed and then I was on a mission to find a romantic setting in a random bay city that I didn’t know. I drove along and ended up stumbling upon this park in San Rafael, CA (found out it was San Rafael afterwards). In actuality it was a sign with a park name and a dirt path leading into the unknown. As we walked along I noticed 2 things: 1. There was nobody on the path (for the pics/video) 2. There were houses to the left of the path and some marsh land to the right (not the most romantic scenery but better than a target store, lol). I dragged her along the path hoping to find somebody before the pink sky faded away since there was only pink out to the east and none on the west. We ended up finding two guys who seemed a bit shady but I tried not to judge and asked them to take the pictures. They replied no and went on their way. I was surprised but didn’t have time to waste so we continued walking. Just then the path opened up to an amazing area with a great view. It was a beachy area with a view of the Richmond-San Rafael Bridge. Just then a couple came out from a side path and we asked them to take a picture of us to which they agreed. All the pieces were finally set: I had the pink sky, the romantic location, the great view, the camera for pictures, the video camera, people to take the pictures and the ring in my pocket. It was BEYOND perfect.

I pulled the people aside and they agreed to take the picture of us. After the first couple of pictures I knew it was time. I grabbed both of her hands and looked her in the eyes. I was nervous and I flat out couldn’t believe that God had pulled all of the pieces together for this proposal to happen. So I Told her that I loved her, I got down on one knee and with the video camera rolling and the camera shooting pics I proposed marriage to which she replied yes! And if that weren’t enough of a great thing, the sky was dark on the east but turned bright pink on the west, perfect for some post engagement pictures.
So ladies and gentleman THAT is the story. I really thank God that everything worked out. I honestly could not have planned anything better than this proposal. God played a huge part in setting this whole thing up and allowed me to give my lady her dream proposal!

10 Years!

It was 10 years ago that Jesus Christ saved me. 10 years ago that he chose to redeem me from my sin. 10 years ago that I realized that I couldn’t save myself from my own depravity, that I was addicted to sin, and that I was finally able to look to the cross for my salvation. In those ten years, God has granted me an amazing life, better than I could have ever dreamed of. I have met countless cool Christians and some square ones as well! haha I have served with different ministries, I have been a member of a couple of churches, I have been a youth pastor for five years, I have spent countless hours serving Him. I regret nothing. God has been so good to me, too good to me! He has brought me through tough days, weeks, months, years and seasons. My trust is in him.

On this tenth year of salvation, I look back at who I was, a lonely, depressed, addicted, perverted, messed up person. And I realize how utterly distant I was from God. I could not hear Him, I could not feel Him and I only prayed when I was in trouble, just like any other agnostic. I knew God existed and yet I was hostile towards him. I made fun of Christians, I went to church intoxicated, I accepted the fact I was going to Hell and I didn’t care. And yet it was in the middle of all that sin that Jesus looked to me and decided it was time for me to be saved. When it was impossible for me to choose God, He chose me, saved me from Hell and gave me a new life. All I can give Him is my entire Life.

Reflecting upon what Jesus did in my life, I can’t help but be amazed. I am in awe of what Jesus accomplished on that cross! I am amazed that I now have access to the Father. I am astounded that the Father looks at me and sees the righteousness of God! There is nothing I could possibly do to thank Jesus for His death on the cross. His grace and forgiveness are immeasurable! I don’t do this often but I do invite all of you to read the bible this week and attend a Church on the weekend. I promise you Jesus is so worth it. He will not make your life perfect, but he will be with you until the end. He is faithful, He is all loving, and He is completely set apart from the rest of creation!

God Bless!

Quote of the Day - 7/26/2011

"When Christ calls a man, he calls him to come and die"

- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

The Cross

The Cross is heavy on my mind today. His face beaten and disfigured, his back whipped, torn and bearing a resemblance to butchered meat. Large thorns piercing through his skin poking his skull. His Hands and feet pierced with large nails in order to hang him from the cross. A spear slicing his side revealing a mix of blood and water, the two biblical cleansing agents.

I think about the people, who had once followed Him and believed Him, now staring at him hanging on the cross, hurling insults, questioning His divinity and ordering Him to get down from the cross, not understanding what they were asking for. I see Him hanging, thirsty, bleeding to death, his lungs working hard to breathe. Those who he once called him teacher scared to hang with him, and now hiding from fear.

I can Imagine Him on the cross, suffering the fate or a criminal, receiving the punishment of a slave, a trader or a thief even though He was perfectly without sin! I can imagine Him being crucified at 9am, the entire earth turning dark at 12pm and at 3 PM I see Him Saying “It is finished,” taking His Last breath and facing the death that we deserved, all to forgive our sins. And then He gives up His spirit… All on a day like today about 2011 years ago.

And then three days later He would rise, defeating death for us! He was victorious in His Resurrection! He made a way when we were hopeless, lost and dead in our sin, guilt fault and shame! He did it for you, He did it for me! PRAISE JESUS FOREVER!!!!!!!!!

My Problem With Bell…

Universalist? Not in the traditional sense, but my opinion is that rob bell is a bit confused about what he thinks about Christianity.
For those of you who don’t know Rob Bell, he is a 41 year old pastor from Grand Rapids Michigan who recently caught national attention with his book “Love Wins.” Before the man even released his book he released a promotional video full of the thought provoking questions that we are used to seeing from Pastor Bell. And although his questions were left without answers, the Christian community believed his answers were already clear.
So let me clarify two things before I continue!
1. The Position of a Christian Universalist when considering Heaven, Hell, and God.
a. Heaven – Exists, all ways lead to heaven
b. Hell – Doesn’t exist
c. God – an all loving God that will not judge anybody but loves us all and will take us all in heaven regardless of what we believe.

2. The Traditional Christian view of Heaven Hell and God
a. Heaven – Exists, as stated in the bible by Jesus – He is the ONLY way to heaven.
b. Hell – Exists, as stated in the bible – Eternal Punishment for the devil and all sinners that REJECT the cross of Christ, the son of God.
c. God – All loving and yet also perfectly Holy (set apart, different from creation) and Perfectly just in his judgment. Loves all and wants all to be saved but is leaving the choice up to humanities free will.

3. The Rob bell Position on Heaven, Hell and God.
a. Heaven – Exists but also exists in your mind – all of humanity will eventually be overwhelmed by the loving kindness of God and will come to him and go to heaven… in this life or “the next.”
b. Hell – Exists but also exists in your mind - exists but only for the devil and those that choose not to repent in this lifetime or “the next.”
c. God – all loving and couldn’t possibly send anybody to Hell. Gives the opportunity to all to choose Christ in this life and “the next.”
So here’s the deal. Bell has arrived on certain conclusions based on his study of scriptures. Namely the ideas that the word “eternal” in the bible means a period of time, The idea that heaven and hell are not only real places but also states of mind while you are on earth, the idea that God can not possibly allow people to go to hell, the idea that you don’t have to accept Christ in this life time, but that you will get to choose him in a separate life time if this lifetime was spent sinning without repentance, etc, etc.
Here’s the problem, None of these ideas are biblical or found in context within Scriptures.
- The word Eternal = taken out of context and then seen as meaning a period of time when bell found it convenient to do so.
- The idea that heaven and hell are states of mind = not found in scripture as a state of mind but as real places.
- The idea that God can not possibly allow people to go to hell = He is not sending them to hell, He is giving them a choice. The Choice is His Son on the cross. The Rejection of His Son is rejection of salvation and heaven as clearly stated in scripture. He made the way, He provided His Son, He gave us the Scriptures to show us not only that he loved us but also what would happen if we rejected Him. If we ignore it or reject it, it is completely on us.
- The idea that we don’t have to accept Christ in this lifetime, because we can do it in the next. = Not based on Scripture. The decision is to be made in life as states in the bible. Nowhere in scripture do you find the afterlife as a place of decision but a place of final judgment.
Part of me understands why Rob Bell is doing this. There are portions of scripture he doesn’t understand. There are parts of Christianity that don’t make sense. And I get that! I have doubts and ideas, but the difference is that we have to submit those to God in prayer and diligently search the scriptures to find with the answer.
What you can not do is decide to change God and doctrine by adding your own ideas into the Bible and proving these ideas by taking Scripture out of context. Here’s how that happens: You make certain assumptions in your mind without submitting them to God. You decide that your ideas are right and God is wrong. You want your God to fit your ideas. You take your ideas and eisegeticaly (idea not in scripture, use verses out of context to prove your idea) compare them to the bible. You change your God to fit your ideas. You create a false God.
And that is the problem with this whole Rob Bell Mess. He has created a false God, A God that is only loving but not Holy, and not just. He has created a Jesus that might not be who the bible states, but a being whose death wasn’t needed and is not considered the way, truth and life. He has created a doctrine that is not found in the Bible, but added to the bible. That is the problem. May Rob repent of what he is doing, may he pray to God for revelation and may he submit his heart mind and soul to Jesus.

On Top of The World...

I can recall a time when I arrived at a church and I was a nobody. People hardly said hi to me, People completely overlooked me. People forgot my name, or just flat out didn’t know it. Nobody wanted to be around me or hang out with me. Nobody wanted to take the time to get to know me. Fast forward a couple of years and I was at a church where everybody loved me. Everybody wanted to get to know me better, even wished they knew what I was thinking. Everybody wanted to be my friend and have me be part of their life. My phone was constantly blowing up, people sent me encouraging messages. Vastly different places, right? Wrong! Same place, same people, different position, title and level of influence. In the latter part of the story I was a youth pastor.
Obvious problems with this scenario:

1. People judged me – There is no hiding the fact that Christians are seen as judgmental. The truth is that many of us are. To expound upon this truth, we must note that people in general whether with Christ or without, are judgmental. We may become a bit more open minded or go through an experience where we judge and promise never to do it again, but the truth is that we constantly judge others. With this said, there is no reason for Christians, followers of the most loving man in history, to exclude anybody! People eventually abandoned Jesus, but Jesus never abandoned people. We must learn not to exclude or abandon people!

2. People were fake – In the great scheme of things I was able not only to go from the bottom to the top but to make note of it for future reference. Many forget what it was like to be the new person, to feel lost, to feel like quitting, but I didn’t! I took it with me and confronted everybody with the truth. Sometimes this has to be done! People need to know the error in their ways and when you are in a position of influence, you need to use that influence to expose the flaws and correct the mistakes, not to allow them to permeate the culture.

3. People want to be around those that appear to have it all together - Nobody likes to be part of the b-squad (as I like to call it). People want to be popular. People want to be likened to those that are considered great: the Leaders, those with authority, those at the forefront of everything, the poster-children of the organization, not those that are the least of these! (hopefully about now, conviction sets in your heart!)

4. People feel more accepted in a local bar than they do in a church – One of those ideas that I have the ability to speak about freely. I have been in bars and churches. I have been part of party crowds and congregations. You know what the main difference is? (aside from salvation) The fact that a drinking crowd, loves and accepts anybody willing to have a good time and let loose, as opposed to the church who wants people that already have their shtuff together when they step through the door! People are more drawn to destruction because destruction accepts them as they are and Christians make it appear as if Christ does not!

5. People don’t show the love of Christ – The truth of the matter is that the Church needs to repent and begin showing the true love of Christ! This fake, status driven, demanding, biblically inaccurate, judgmental, graceless, perfection demanding version of God’s heart that Christians call love… NEEDS TO STOP! That is NOT the heart of Our loving father who sees us, takes us up as messed up as we are but loves us too much to leave us that way.

6. People are insecure – People don’t know who they are. They allow everybody else tell them who they are, who they should be and who they should hang out with instead of believing what the Bible says about them, listening to God’s voice Who is constantly pouring his encouragement and love out to us, and unapologetically living their lives the way the Christ lived his!

7. Creating the negative systems in the church – Remember in High School there was a caste system that everybody was forced to obey? Well we brought that into the church. Remember when social networking became the societal fad and people forgot about friendship, replacing it with an electronic version which included small messages, birthday updates, and the ability to “KIT” without ever having to see them or talk to them? We brought that into the church. It’s ridiculous!

8. I was fixed on Christ, what about new people? – When I started going to the above mentioned Church, I already had a relationship with Christ… what if I didn’t? What if that had been a new believer or somebody stepping into the church for the very first time and that was the first impression I received, do you think I would want to step into a church again? The answer is no!( thank you captain obvious!)

9. The fact we view it as a top to bottom caste instead of an egalitarian brotherhood, a family. – The Church is not a Family anymore, it’s a high school clique. It’s little groups in the cafeteria, talking about what is going on in their little social circle instead of life being poured into each other in love.

10. This happened in a church! – I love the Church but it can be so negative a lot of the time. I understand it, and what it is composed of but most people don’t. I know I’m not alone in seeing this and wanting to end it and yet not many are doing much about it. We need to change Church culture to be more of what Jesus wants and less of what we want!

On Idolatry and Worship

Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. – psalm 55:2

It’s unbelievable to think how quickly we can forget God and depend on things. You can start off the day recognizing that God is the creator, the potter, the author and end the day, loving your car for taking you somewhere, your money for getting you the stuff that you want, or your significant other for listening to your long winded stories while forgetting about the greatness and grandeur of God.
Don’t get me wrong, all the above things are good. The problem comes when you begin to depend on them in blind faith and you take your eyes off of God. As humans we are created as worshippers and so its easy for us to fix our gaze on the first thing to fill a need in our lives. We are quick to take our eyes off of the only one that fills all the needs of our life. Cars break down, money fades away and significant others fail you. But the one that says, “cast all your anxieties on me…” That one will not fail us. He is waiting for us to depend on Him and only Him, regardless of the outcome! God is awesome!
On January 1st my Car broke down and I was told the repair might be exceedingly expensive to the point of not being able to pay. Whenever my car breaks down I get really worried since its an SUV and has had many expensive problems before. My soul began to panic. But then I prayed and I know God heard my plea and allowed it to be considerably cheaper than originally quoted. I worship God for His faithfulness!

30 Day Project: Day 9

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

I hope it doesn't make me seem ultra religious or whatever, but when I saw the theme for today I couldn't think of anybody else BUT Jesus! Nobody has ever gotten me through anything aside from Him. He has been my sanity in times of trial, my shield in times of battle, and my salvation in times of desperation.He is the one that has gotten me through the most.


figured i would include this bonus picture of Him. I honestly believe he looked more like this guy than the one pictured above!

Quote of the Day - 1/3/2011

"When a repentant heart meets a restoring God, reconstruction happens!" - Pastor Ramond Beaty

Francis Chan

This is Francis Chan.
He is one of my earthly heroes. Here is a man after God’s own heart. He is a hard worker for the movement of the gospel. From founding Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley, CA over a decade ago, to writing two books (Crazy Love and Forgotten God) which have deeply impacted my spiritual walk, to making the new Basic DVD series which teaches the Basics of the Global Church with a call to rededication to the spirit of what we are doing; Francis Chan has done it all.
A family man of a wife and five kids, Chan grew up without parents, brothers or sisters. His mother died while giving birth to him, his step mother died at age 7 in an automobile accident when he was 12 years old and soon thereafter his father died of cancer. Chan was raised by his grandparents in Northern California where he accepted Christ into his life and began working in Youth Ministry. Later he would plant Cornerstone Church in SimiValley, CA, a mega church that boasts over 5000 members. The part that inspires me is what comes after his church plant succeeded.
While pastoring this church, Chan began to get different revelations from God, impressions about God while reading his word, which burdened him to challenge his church to a deeper level with God. Chan began preaching some rather unpopular messages including comparing the American dream with the walk of Jesus, a real fear of God, Living as the bible says, and truly following Jesus. It was then that His Church really blew up. One would think that the opposite would happen but when a person preaches the true word of God, even though the message may be challenging and unpopular, and MORE people respond, you know the Holy Spirit is doing something.
The thing about Francis Chan is that I see a lot of myself in him. He seems to be a good public speaker, funny, confident but he can also be really transparent, revealing that he worries a lot about what others might think of him, not being sure as to where God is taking him, getting comfortable in his walk with God, etc. I think what inspires me about Francis is that his walk with God is transparent and completely faith-based. He seems unsure about what he does but confident only in God. And wouldn’t you know it that the faithful God that he professes is the same one that is providing for him, blessing him and leading him even when others might question his decisions. Francis epitomizes a modern day disciple of Christ walking by faith in a faithless world
Earlier this year Francis Chan announced that he was leaving his huge church in a step of faith towards what God was calling him to do. The issue was what exactly God was calling him to do. Francis was not sure of anything but God’s calling but for Francis, that was enough. And his church members not only saw it coming, but sent him out confident in the Spirit’s leading. Chan sold his house, left for Asia to do missions work with his family and once again walked on faith alone toward Gods call for his life. That’s what I hope to do one day, to walk by faith and not by sight. My eyes of course are not fixed on Francis or any other contemporary Christian preacher but on God and Him alone.
If you want to read up about my hero in the faith check out his website!

To Live The Dream...

In my mind I can imagine being the next young pastor that confidently preaches the word of God and touches people’s lives in the process. I’m talking about lead Pastors of huge churches such as Mark Driscoll, Francis Chan or Rob Bell. Young men that at a younger age than most, are boldly proclaiming the Word of Christ to a lost and dying generation and actually seem to be getting the point across. These are the guys I look up to!
It’s hard enough being young but to be young and to purposely decline the invitation of the flow of society, to create counter culture instead of adding to current culture, to be considered out-dated when the message is timeless, that is reason for persecution and poverty. And nonetheless you find these men standing tall, standing up against the culture that reviles them and standing on the Rock which is Jesus Christ. These guys are young, brilliant, self-confident, funny and the future of Christianity. I want to be like them.
Sometimes I think to myself that I would like to be the next Mark Driscoll, the next Francis Chan. But to be honest I don’t want to be any of them. I want to be me. I want to be the version of me that God wants me to be; the version of me that is confident, courageous and Christ like. I want to be used by the creator of all things to live out the purpose for which He has created me. May God Help me to become that person and to live the dream that he has placed upon my heart!

Prodigal Son

It's about 12 30 am on Monday June 28th. I saw pictures of one of my old youth members smoking and drinking and supposedly high on ecstasy. I saw his smile. I saw him surrounded by people. I saw him having a great time. I saw myself in him. not me now but the me from years ago, running around partying it up drunk and high; not caring about anything and anybody. I remember smiling and having good times, feeling like I was doing what I wanted to do and feeling like good times would last forever.

and then it happened... life got tough, problems came, and i realized that my feet were not on solid ground. I tried to avoid it and continued partying it up doing what "I wanted to do." It was then that I began to depend on my vices to keep me smiling. I no longer just wanted them, I needed them, first on the weekends, then just at night time some days and then everyday all the time. I no longer used drugs and alcohol,they used me whenever they wanted to... I was an addict.

Although I remember fun times, raging parties, "good friends," etc. The thing that stands out most vividly for me was being separated from my party crew for a minute, putting my hands to the left and right of the sink, looking into my own bloodshot, glazed-over eyes, and feeling hollow inside. I abhorred the person that I had become and I had no idea how to change it. No matter how great I thought my life was, I couldn't lie to myself, I wanted to end it all...

...and then one day I found Christ!!!!

My since prayer tonight is that the youth member that I saw (and all the other prodigal sons and daughters) would find Christ and His Truth.

Believing God

“Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.”
I have been wanting to write this blog for some time now. The truth extracted from my overly cautious mind, which jumps firing hoops in order to avoid admitting that I have less figured out about life than I would ever like to show. You see, I believe Christians have a hard time admitting that they don’t have it all figured out in fear that this confession will somehow show to non-believers that we are wrong when we profess Christ as savior and The Bible as God’s inerrant word Or open a door to show our brooding doubts, which we believe are too sacrilegious to aknowledge. So taking that into consideration, I offer the following confession.
My name is Juan. I have been a Christian since 2001 when I felt God squeezing my heart in his powerful hand to the point of eruption through a preaching that I don’t even remember. It wasn’t on that day but roughly two years later that I made an agreement with God, “I am not going to say no to you anymore.” Following that statement came countless opportunities for ministry which allowed me to preach his name, impact the lives of youth and adults, lear the truth about worship, meet some great friends, and impact the lives of many. ..and yet I don’t fully trust God!
I’m afraid. There, I said it. Everything, including both internal and external forces, makes me doubt and question God’s will for my life every step of the way. I have taken both small steps and vast strides in the faith. God has lead me through the worst times in my life. God has allowed me to lead even youth pastors that had more years in a youth pastorship than I did. God has given me words that have changed the course of direction of the lives of youth and adults. So my question is, why do I doubt?
The above psalm states that he wrote my days before they existed. And so It would seem that I would have a steadfast grip onto God but the problem is that my mind tends to doubt it all. And so my realization is this, every person in the bible doubted God and acted accordingly to their doubts. But also, each one of them had a moment in time when they chose to simply BELIEVE GOD.
Although my mind doubts, my logic screams out, and my focus on God gets blurry, it’s time I make a choice to simply believe God. To take him at His word and believe that He will in fact provide, bless, fulfill, speak, direct, give me compassion and grace to not only continue on this journey, but to enter into a new level with Him. I will believe that He has written out my days and live them out With Him by my side.

Revelations Jesus

Revelations 12:12-16
I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, and among the lampstands was someone "like a son of man," dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash around his chest. His head and hair were white like wool, as white as snow, and his eyes were like blazing fire. His feet were like bronze glowing in a furnace, and his voice was like the sound of rushing waters. In his right hand he held seven stars, and out of his mouth came a sharp double-edged sword. His face was like the sun shining in all its brilliance.

I must admit, I have become enamored with this image. In my mind I can see Jesus looking exactly as the passage describes, in all magnificence and glory. The thought gives me chills! My savior was hung on a cross while on this earth looking so helpless, but will return in all power and all brilliance as described in the passage and every knee will bow; every eye will see Him as I see Him! One day I will see the beauty and grandeur of Jesus, the one that redeemed me and as scary as he sounds in the passage, I know He will also come to show perfect love as this world has never seen or understood! Glory to Him FOREVER!

Amos 5:21-24 - Social Justice!

This is a response to a question that a friend asked about Amos 5:21-24

I can't stand your religious meetings. I'm fed up with your conferences and conventions. I want nothing to do with your religion projects, your pretentious slogans and goals. I'm sick of your fund-raising schemes, your public relations and image making. I've had all I can take of your noisy ego-music. When was the last time you sang to me? Do you know what I want? I want justice—oceans of it. I want fairness—rivers of it. That's what I want. That's all I want. Amos 5:21-24

Well first you have to take a look at historical context and context of people.
Amos was one of the Minor Prophets. His father was not a prophet and neither was his grandfather, in fact nobody in his family had the gift of prophecy. He was not a priest or a Levite, in fact he was only a shepherd, which means that God chose him a regular man to speak to his people (praise God for that). Amos was from Judah but he was called to prophesy to Israel. As you probably know Israel was a blessed nation, chosen by God and knowledgeable in his laws and statutes. Because they were given the law and knew it by heart its sin was greater. One of their sins was of neglect and indifference towards the poor. The rich people of the nation longed to see the poor oppressed. They would sin in this way (as well as other ways) and then figure they would continue with their sacrifices, with their customs and with their conventions thinking that they could avoid some laws, keep others and still have the favor of God. In this passage we see God condemning Israel for those sins but we also see him offering the way out. He tells them what it is that he wants from them – justice!

We as his chosen people and belonging to the royal priesthood of Jesus Christ (1peter2:9) are similar to the Israelites. We were chosen by God, we were led out of our captivity (sin), we grumble and complain, he shows us grace, we repent and bless his name, and then we fall and sin again. And the cycle repeats itself. Another way that we are similar to Israel, we know the word! We know it and we teach it to our children as well as to all that want it/need it. We quote scripture, we read scripture, we study scripture. We can find every single verse on God’s blessing, we can find every single commandment and ordinance but we often neglect verses the have to do with the poor and the oppressed. We are a rich nation and I say this knowing well that we work hard to make ends meet and we are not rich but we have enough and then some. There are those that have not and those that are struggling just to get the next meal, and those that were born with a disease in their blood that kills mother and child, and those that are born into captivity, etc, etc. And those we figure God will take care of or some non-profit will take care of. But in reality God has called us to love them and care for them. THEY are our neighbor (luke 10:25-37)

When you look at the life of Christ what do you see? You see example after example of God having what they call “compassion” over humanity. (matt 9:36, matt 4:15 mark 1:41). You clearly see God’s heart in these verses; his heart was for the poor, the disenfranchised, and the oppressed. He loved those that nobody would love! (we gotta praise god for that!) And this is not only under the covenant of Grace, you see it throughout the Old Testament Law (exodus 23:6, Leviticus 19:10, deut 15:7, 1 sam 2:8 prov 22:22, micah 6:8). What this is saying is, don’t forget about where my heart is: people.

To have compassion is to be moved from your comfort zone, to align your heart with the heart of God, and to show love to those that nobody shows love to. You don’t show love to those in need because they love God, you show them love because YOU love God and the poor and needy are on God’s heart! Now notice, I’m not talking about preaching to them. We can’t have a hidden agenda or ulterior motive when it comes to the love of Christ. The love of Christ is his love towards a suffering people. His salvation is his love and deliverance combined. So the plan goes as follows: we show Christs love to the people, through the Holy Spirit they become enamored with his love, and then they come to His deliverance!
Sometimes we become so caught up with our own needs that We are preaching love but not showing Christs love. If you notice, Christ didn’t spend most of his time with the rich, or even in the temple, he spent his time with the poor with the needy and with the spiritual thirsty. That says a lot about where his heart really was. Matthew 25:31 talks about God separating the good from the bad and he compares them to sheeps and goats, casting one group into hell. That entire parable is based on what one does for the poor and needy. You see, taking care of the poor and needy isn’t a choice, it’s a commandment. That is something most Christians don’t understand. In fact Christ even puts himself in their shoes and says if you did it for them you did it to me and if you didn’t then rejected me and turned me away.

There is nothing wrong with going to conferences and conventions (lol) what this is saying is that these things are not priority! It’s saying to not be selfish. Its saying don’t sit there and say “God use me” while God is saying “I want you to help those in need and show them my love (or even to be God’s love to them).” Sometimes we think this is about US and how much holy spirit WE can fill up on to be better, when in reality God wants to partner up with us to heal much of the hurt in this world. Sometimes that is spiritual hurt but sometimes that is “my stomach is in pain because I haven’t eaten in 3 days” kind of hurt. God loves our worship, he loves it. But worship and justice go hand in hand. (matt 22:37). You can’t sit there and worship God and ask to have his heart if you are not doing what he says. We know his heart!

Did you know that over 2000 verses in the bible speak on justice? What does that mean? It means that if we read the word we can see exactly where God’s heart is and what he wants us to do. I know that often our churches don’t preach on this subject but it is a reality and a commandment! It is something God has entrusted us with. And now that we know we can do one of two things: 1. Find a way to help the poor, the needy, or those that are victims to injustice 2. We can forget or overlook 2000+ verses and neglect and be indifferent towards victims of injustice.

Seminary professor/author Steve Brown puts it best when he says, “When a Christian sees someone who is physically hungry, a Christian feeds the hungry person. Why? Because hungry people can’t understand the plan of salvation? No. Simply because that person is hungry. That’s what Christians do. And if a person is spiritually hungry, a Christian becomes “one beggar telling another beggar where he or she found bread.” Why? Because that’s what Christians do.

So to bring it home, We need to take care of the poor. We have to fight against injustice. We have to be love, because He is love. We have to help the poor. We have to help the needy. AND we have to do so simply because we love them. It’s not an agenda to get people to accept Christ, it is a mission to show people that God loves them and that we love them. Dr. Cornell West says, “justice is what love looks like in public.” That is what God wants: justice!

Our Version of Love...

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Let me ask you a question… do you know God’s love? Its something that can drive you to tears in more ways than one. Its something so beautiful, so perfect that it sounds like a fairy tale. And if you don’t know him, it really is!
The type of love that God is… well lets just say we don’t fully understand it. Our version of love I believe is an attempt to mimic the love of God. But since we are imperfect beings we give into our own selfishness. Our love is not patient, kind, it envies, it boasts and it is VERY proud! It is the complete opposite of His Love. So it makes sense that the divorce rate in the US is about 50 percent. It makes sense that 1.02 billion people are facing chronic hunger in this world right now. It makes sense that Approximately 1.3 million women are physically assaulted by their partners annually in the US.
My Conclusion: WE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO LOVE! Our version of love has been tainted by the ideas, trends and culture of this messed up world that we live in! We have learned to stick to our immediate family (sometimes not even that!), ignore all others and fend for ourselves! And this is not only non-Christians, but those in the church are doing the exact same thing and coincidentally painting a misrepresentation of God’s love towards humanity. The church is supposed to be at the forefront of the love movement and instead we are barely beginning to wake up and wipe the crust out of our naively ignorant eyes.
Back to the subject of love, During this Christmas season we see a lot of “good will towards men,” a lot of “Christmas spirit,” a lot of “giving instead of getting” and it is beautiful to see all of that, but what about the other 364 days of the year… what then?? What happens to love the rest of the year?
There is a beautiful, honest, self sacrificing, self- portrait of Love that God painted for us on the Cross. His message: ”I love you, do you believe in me?” and so I know its easy to get caught in the cynicism, doubt and skepticism of this world but I want everybody to know that there is a God that loves you no matter what. All he wants is to start a relationship with you where He is your God and you are his. Not really sure why I’m writing this, but I hope somebody can benefit from it. Merry Christmas Folks!
-J.

Jehovah-Jireh -The Lord will Provide

So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided." – Genesis 22:14
I believe with all of my heart that the lord sees our hearts when they are in need. I believe that when we ask him in faith, to provide for us, He will do so.
Small testimony. My job had given us furlough days for every pay period (furlough day – day off with no pay). To be exact it was one mandatory furlough per pay period. It might not sound like much but that was about 80 bucks taken off of my pay check per pay period and in the greater scheme of things, that turned out to be quite a bit. So when I saw my first small check I pretty much freaked out due to the lack of funds but praised God because I had just enough.
So then last week I was at church and decided to give a faith promise for a storehouse that my church is building. It wasn’t much but I wanted to help at least some of those in need in our city. So I did that based on the promise that God would provide. And guess what? Sure enough he did. I mad the promise last Saturday and this Friday our funds were restored and our furloughs were lifted! All praise be to our Mighty God who provides.
Last week my boss called me in and let me know that we might lose funding for my position. And you know what, I will not fear! Even if I lose my job, I know that My God will provide! My heart will trust in him. Please remind me of this if I do lose my job, lol. Praise God!