In a Crowd

Ever been in a crowd? Ever been in a crowd by yourself? You might feel completely confident, but you might not, you might feel self conscious. Its funny how sometimes the loneliest you can possibly be is when you are in a crowd.

If you are alone amongst a large group of people that you don't know, you become very self aware. you might wonder if the more popular people at the party can see you and you wonder what they might think about you. You wonder if you should have another drink, eat another hors d'oeuvre or just run from that place and never look back.

You also become very aware of your surroundings. Your nearest escape route, the bar, places where you can be alone and it won't seem weird. You also notice the people around you. what they are wearing, whether or not they are eating, whether they are bored or having the time of their lives. You notice if they look bored or entertained. you notice large groups of people that in another lifetime might have been your best friends instead of distant strangers. Sometimes a part of you even begins hoping that the cool person in a group would pay attention to you. that they would look your way and approach you, attempting to engage you in conversation. You wish that they would rescue you from your loneliness. only it never happens. and you are in fact alone.

sometimes you are that lonely person at the party, and sometimes, you aren't. sometimes you are part of the in-crowd. Sometimes you are the person in the group that looks around and notices that person that wishes you would talk to them And when you are part of the crowd, you have a choice. either look away and pretend you didn't notice their eyes flashing you an SOS, or you walk over, say hi and let them know they are not alone. because the truth is, you never know when you will be alone, wishing that somebody, anybody would notice you.