drowning within

Forever seems distant
So my life is lived for the moment
My lips won’t speak of the unspeakable acts
That I consider my everyday routine
I can’t worry about forever,
Today has more than enough stuff
For a lifetime of hell fire
Sometimes, heat seems more promising
As long as I get my way
Childish logic
makes me empty my wallet
for the first guilty pleasure
that makes me feel innocent again
and yet the night welcomes me
with eyes wide open
lack of sleep
because I know in the depth of me
that I am wrong
and so I remain empty
but full of myself
full of crap,
full of regrets,
enough to fill an ocean
which hides me a little more
with every step that I take
deeper unto perdition
until I can no longer breathe.
And most don’t understand
That THAT is exactly why I need God
He saves me when I am drowning
Deep within myself