My Doubts, My Hope...

I simply love my church. I love that there is a spot for everyone no matter what walk of life you come from. I love that even the leaders are down to earth and straight forward with you. I love the fact that worship in understanding who our God is, is the main focus of the services. And I think to myself that this is exactly how it is supposed to be.

I understand that in this life I have a calling to become a pastor and to preach the truth of God as I love and encourage the congregation with which God entrusts me. And while I love knowing that this is my calling, it freaks me out to wonder whether my church will be healthy or unhealthy. Certainly this is not left to chance as God doesn’t roll dice, He calls shots. And I know that there is a sure way to end up with a healthy church and that is simply falling into God’s will and loving people as God loves them.

Sometimes I get scared. What if I fail at this? What if I don’t do something right and I end up in a church that for some reason doesn’t have a proper foundation? What if I try to figure out His path for the Church instead of waiting on Him to tell me what that path is? What if I get comfortable with a lack of the spirit as long as the church is functioning?

And yet I know that my faith has to be placed solely on God. I know that there are certain steps that I must take to fall in line with His will. I know that if my leadership style is less of a “manager” style and more of a fellow worshiper with a huge passion for the things of God, a desire for His justice and truth; that I can’t go wrong. I know that if my focus is Him and not just the work of his hands in the church, that God will be there, amongst us and we will be His people. This is my only desire.