This past week I was given an award. A beautiful plaque that thanked me for being a youth pastor for four years at our church (unofficially 5). I love it, i seriously do, it meant the world to me.
(Now speaking generally, not about the plaque).
But I do realize this: I'm not good with praise and accolades. Honestly, I don't like praise from people. i guess i have a distorted view of it. In the past I used to be all about recognition in a church setting or in general. Although it is good at times to be praised for your efforts I think we shouldn't just do what we do for that recognition.
Aside from that, Whenever I get praise from somebody, i tend to take a look at what they are seeing about me, then take a look at all of my flaws as a human being, and then my flaws overshadow the good things about me. Please don't tell me that this is wrong and all of that, I know it. Its just that I see who I am, all of me and honestly, I'm not all that great. I'm just like any other human being, flawed to the core. I strive to be the best person that I can be. I try to help anybody that needs it. I want to love others without expecting anything in return. But even in this I fail. I am just another messed up person with more issues than time magazine. I'm just me.
If there is anything from my life that any person can take, perhaps a lesson, perhaps a time when they needed somebody and i was there, or me seeing them as more than they could ever see themselves; Then i hope that i can be remembered in specific peoples hearts for those things. If my life changed another persons life, if my friendship taught another person what it meant to be a friend, or if my love showed another person how to love, then may they live out that life lesson to the fullest and in seeing that come to fruition in another persons life, that is the best compliment or accolade that anybody can ever give me.
About Me
- J
- I love writing. If you want to know anything else just ask me or else read up! I have two blogs ("A Pen Itching To Bleed Onto Paper" and "The Rebirth of J"). One of my blogs (A Pen...) is updated more frequently than the other. "The Rebirth” is more of a story I am writing with my life whereas "A Pen" would be my random thoughts past, present, and future in this unfolding journey I call life. If this is your first time reading my blog, please visit Post #2 for the month of April 2008 in my "A Pen" blog archives... Thanks!
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4 comments:
Congratulations. :)
Hope you will indeed come here to the Philippines for some volunteer work and you can then do some side trips to some of our beaches and see the sights I posted in my blog.
Nice post.
You probably won't want me to say this but Congratulations anyway. I would think you deserve it more then you think.
I'm the same way on compliments. I know I shouldn't but if I don't know the person well handing them out, I tend to ask myself what do they want.
It's the introvert in me. I tend to give of myself without any expectations. To me if your looking for something in return you haven't given freely. So when someone comes back with something, I'm automatically thinking I didn't give enough, or they didn't think I'd given freely.
Oh yeah, It makes taking a simple compliment into an ordeal. Paul is forever telling me just accept the compliment, it's a good thing. (Hugs)Indigo
You deserve it . you're too modest/humble. what do u mean unofficially 5?
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